Thursday

How to Develope your Emotional Intelligence Rapidly

Develope emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is now one of the most valued skills in the society today, people who've mastered this, fall into the lucky lot of easily getting favors from all arenas of life. Be it at the work place, family set up, and anywhere where leadership is involved, they are the most preferable candidate.

It is the topmost character trait that adds value to an individuals potential and capabilities. This type of intelligence can make you sit, mingle and associate with people without denting your integrity and social image. And that's why its important to rapidly develope emotional intelligence, and make it part of your personality.

So what is emotional intelligence? ...It refers to the ability to decently manage your emotions while dealing with yourself and other people. Those with this skills record high productivity at the work place, better handling of issues in the family, and outstanding relationships in the society at large. It is a learn-able skill but to a few individuals, it comes naturally.

All research papers that have so far been conducted show that emotional intelligence ranks way higher beyond intellectual intelligence when it comes leadership abilities and productivity. In fact these allegations are practicably correct, and even a simple example right here can prove it to you. Okay, lets see one example, a highly tempered boss is more likely to increase stress onto his workforce hence reducing productivity. The way such a manager expresses his/her feelings will have a direct impact on the social relations in the company and may hinder the development of other important skills suck as team work.

Factually speaking, developing your emotional intelligence adds value to your personality and it can open doors that even good academic papers can't. The skill makes you a better manager and in fact it enable you to manage people and situations better than those with higher educational background. So how can one learn this skill in a more rapid or accelerated tone?

Okay here are the practicle answers that definitely guarantees you success for developing your emotional intelligence;

1.)Following footsteps of those who've got it
Identify the people around you, measure their emotional intelligence by how they react on both their feelings and those of others. Now since your want to develope your personality, take time to learn from those with higher social intelligence. Ape their way of tackling anger, work-pressure and discouraging occurrences. Naturally everyone would like to have this skill but those with persistence always adopts it very rapidly. And the good thing is, the skill is contagious. 

2.)Stay around people with higher emotional intelligence.
By surrounding yourself with such people, your chances of sharpening your social skills increase by 79percent. Reason being, humans are designed to adopt to the confining environment. In fact this is a great way, and I can guarantee it will work for you.

3.)Reading books along that line
Load your brain with literatures about emotional intelligence. Go for the books and websites that cover the topic to allow it sink into your brain. While doing this, it is good to understand the worth of having this skill and it will definitely accelerate your ability to capture the idea.

4.)Ask feedback
Pick some friends that you know can be brutally honest with you, and ask them to rate you in terms of emotional intelligence and self-control. Don't shy off if they rate your lowly but purpose to develop your persona alongside this skill based on the feedback. You can consider people like your marriage partner, workmate, schoolmate, dom-mate or anybody who's closer and familiar with your behavior. It is easier for people who already know you to measure and recommend on your progress than newer friends.

5.)True commitment of putting new knowledge into action rapidly
Value the importance and necessity of getting higher emotional intelligence and work for it. Spare reasonable time on daily basis to evaluate your commitment for converting the new knowledge into your personality. This is simple, and can be achieved within a short time, since you just need an extra sense of monitoring and nurturing your emotions.

...To just be frank with you, I have realized that my journey to developing a stronger, stable and higher emotional intelligence is more rewarding than running after intellectual intelligence. It adds more happiness to life, family and has also opened doors that academic papers could not. To sum it all, the skill is just amazing!

Tuesday

Proven Techniques that Work

1. Sleep early to wake up early
2. Love to be loved
3. Show mercy to receive mercy
4. Acknowledge to be acknowledged
5. Make others happy to be happy.

Coping with Stress:

Stress is a choice you can always reject!

Coping with Stress: Pure and Proven Techniques that Works for Anybody

Cope with stress

Aha! You must have come across lots of headlines that promise ways for coping with stress especially in this current financially constrained world. But, the brutal truth is, you know these things, only that they aren't sensitive enough in your subconscious to help you effectively deal with stress. Yes, I mean that! You have all it takes to rule and cope with stress at all areas of your life.

These techniques Am sharing out here are top notch! And will help you reduce your dependency on people like marriage counselors, stress counselors and the so called life management counselors. Coping with stress is an adaptive mechanism that once you master it, everything becomes clearer in your mind. You understand when to cry and when to move forward, what to worry about, what you can't change, what needs attention, when to let go, and what to let go.

Lets take a real life example... We all go to sleep, okay? So why should you sleep yet there is no guarantee that you'll wake up the following day? See, you don't care about waking up, yet sleeping is just like being half dead. When asleep, anything can go wrong, the house can burn down through an electric fault, someone might suffocate you, the thieve might come... but all these cannot bar you from falling asleep! See...? Aha this is the reason, your brain is adopted to not care about it, otherwise you won't ever dare risk to close an eye.

Let's be more open and realistic, when served with a meal either at home or in a restaurant, you don't send the food to the lab to be tested for possible poisoning... In fact the pangs of hunger wouldn't even allow that, the brain automatically turns on the don't care button" and off course this works under normal circumstances. It's an automated body functioning that inhibits worry and so you can easily cope with such a stress.

What makes us not care about the obvious is adaption. Or in simpler terms, it is because the brain got used to dealing with such worries. Lets highlight another top example, a small baby get's worried when trying to walk. Practically the baby will see people walking but still worry about its safety when learning to walk upright. On the other hand, the same baby is not stress but seen laughing when tossed into the air by the father. Why? the baby's mind is still learning to cope with what really matters. 

This is what happens even to us adults, we worry and are stressed with things that don't really matter. We take lots of time time stressing and worrying about tomorrow, what will happen to the government, about the medical report, losing wait, gaining weight and so on, yet we don't take any action to either counter the happening or control what needs to be controlled. We simply take lightly the things and actions that can help us cope with the lingering stress. We avoid to play our part.

The body has its own way of coping with stress, but the problem comes in when we practically interfere with its process. Want to know how? Okay let's be practicle... You sleep late, you sleep with lights on, you spent so much time trying to please others rather than paying attention to being mindful etc. Lacking mindfulness in your daily routine can make you fail to effectively cope with the stress of life.... See my tactics bellow.

I use these principle and they've helped me to effectively cope with stress in life;
1) Accepting that life is generally unfair
2) Plan my day ear enough to avoid confusion that can bring strain
3) Sleep early to wake up early
4) Avoid people who try to devalue my morals
5) Say no when it's necessary and I don't regrate it

Okay, am not perfect and don't wish to be, so am not bragging because of my hard learned habits for coping with stress. I am just trying to share an experience that can make your life more happier.... And on top of it all, learn to be mindful in everything you do, rather than creating avenues that breed stress. Big time.

Thursday

How to Overcome Emotional Hijack in Marriage and Reduce Stress

Emotional hijack in marriage

Emotional hijack is not a new thing in any marriage, it's something that occurs and can come up any time. For clarity, lets first get the actual meaning of this term and how it directly relates to marriage; emotions -refers to feelings, hijack- means, apprehend illegally. When the two meanings are combined you get: feelings apprehended illegally This hijack of feeling happens in the brain, and it can lead to divorce or increased stress in a marriage. 

Actually what breaks marriages are simple issues that make partners irrational on their intended action. Practically, you'll see many people regretting on their action because they can't associate to it. You argue with your partner over a petty issue and a fight breaks up, and it not a fight, you or your partner flees away from the relationship. But then after some times you both realize the action was not worth the occasion.

It's hard for anybody who have ever been in a serous relationship to deny having gone through emotional hijack. The biological term for this is Amygdala hijack, a mechanism of the body designed for protection from a dangerous situation ( fight or flight). However, despite the fact that the mechanism is often meant for good, it can be misinterpreted by the brain during a quarrel in marriage. This occurs because of lacking the knowledge to tame the situation. Often you may think that you have a serious problem with your partners when the hijack strikes.

So can you overcome emotional hijack and reduce stress in your marriage? Sure!... It's very easy with the bellow techniques;

#1. Be prepared
See, just having the knowledge that emotional hijack is a biological mechanism and not a weakness, helps you to overcome it. And since you already know life brings stressing situations, its important to pre-set your mind for such hijacks. This will make it is easy to know when your rational brain is illegally apprehended for dangerous action. You don't want to take actions that will cost you in the long run, so be prepared to rationally solve issues during misunderstanding in the marriage.

#2. Take 3 deep-in-and-out-Breathes  
Taking a firm deep breath will help to disconnect the charge of amygdala hijack (emotional hijack). As said earlier, emotional hijack is an auto-functioning mechanism that triggers immediate action to either fight or flight. However, a deep breath conquers all. So even when pressured and the mind is blank, there is always a chance to a least take 5 first breaths before action. And in fact this will save your marriage from un-intended actions and reduce the stress. 

#2. Know yourself
Check on your anger management skills, do you burn quickly or slowly,and what actions do your emotions lead you to, when emotionally hijacked? Or in simple terms, be aware of yourself. For instance if you quickly burn with anger its good that you avoid arguments in your marriage. Also let your partner know of you anger management ability and request for their help. Your partner can help to remind you when you feel like doing something stupid that can cost the marriage.

#3. Know your partner
Off-course this is the opposite of #2., it's important that you understand the emotional behaviour of you partner when he/she is under pressure. For example there are people who when hijacked emotionally, the first thing they want to do is commit suicide, divorce, withdrawal or such like things.

Know the true emotional color of your partner in the marriage, don't just assume they are bad, or not understanding, but dig dip into analyzing their emotions. This will help reduce the stress of wanting to change your partner to suite your box. It will also help you to run out of their way when they are emotionally hijacked, and that can save you marriage.

#4. Avoid grudge or trending stress
Get rid of any stress that's been trending in your heart. Yes, all marriages have stress of their kind, but don't allow grudge to settle in your marriage. For your information, any emotional hijack brought by grudge can be extremely harmful in a relationship. Its dangerous than death, just to describe it. ...Okay, may be your partner did something that you can't forget, but take this as the past, don't let it take any part in the hijack.

With all above, it's likewise important that your partner know of emotional hijack and that such a thing exists. It's a natural thing in life, but research has fully confirmed that it is manageable. The only requirement to overcoming dangerous results of amygdala hijack is knowing of its existence and functioning mechanism, and this will also wipeout stress in your marriage. Please share this post, it can save a marriage. Show responsibility over the well being of families. God bless you!

Is Seeking Simplicity the Roadmap to Wiping-out Marriage Life Stress?

Dealing with marriage stress

Well this could be the solution to that ailing marriage! In fact, simplicity does not only work wonders in marriage, it also has a track record to increasing joy in an individuals life. It's a life style that assures great happiness when well used. So in this case, how do we define simplicity in marriage and how is it associated to stress eradication? Let's get things out clear...

See, simplicity is a logical idea of mentally simplifying problems to get solutions without really allowing stress to dominate your thinking capacity. It's about taking the negatives that life offers and working them to our own advantage. In the case of marriage life, it's about developing emotional simplicity and stability. Or in a more simpler term; avoiding complicated feelings that make marriage life hard. See, what brings stress even in the general life is instability of the mind, whereby doubts encroach and dominates a person's understanding ability to make things appear complicated, and unsolvable.

You can't just be stressed within a minute, an issue must bother you for sometimes that's for it to evolve into stress. Either a day, a moth or even a year. In reality stress only developes when it is given chance or allowed to build-up, meaning time must be spent. When the mind complicates a situation, this when a disturbing thought is given birth to, and if given time and attention, it then transforms to stress. Now, let's come to marriage life, and see how simplicity can be that road map to minimizing stress in your relationship.

(1) Simplifying the future
This is an outstanding tip that has really helped me all my life. Honestly, am one of those people whom life was not really soft with. I begun my life journey on extremely unfavorable grounds whereby I saw atrocities between dad and mam. It was always war time, and that gave me an eye of simplicity! Have you ever thought of simplifying a situation, even before it happens? Well you should be doing it!

For one, there is no doubt that issues will arise in marriage despite what you've already gone through. So, since you know what you expect, make your brain to take it as a simple common problem that happens to every human. Stop magnifying the tomorrow that you've not even reached to live, but instead just accept that everything will be and has always been fine.

Okay, you fear that divorce may one day knock at the door, your spouse may change, the burning love may never come back, there isn't enough compatibility in the marriage, and so on... All this come only to stress you. While in reality,  you have control over them, simply accept the fact that all will be well!

(2) Simplify your partner's weakness
There can never be a perfect partner in this world. In fact no human can make a perfect spouse, even those you see in movies have their own weak points!!! So discover this and don't allow your partner's weaknesses to overwhelm you. Simply take it as part of life: and off-course it should be that way! For instance if your partner gets angry fast, don't scorn him or her, just bear with it and find ways to avoid scenarios that can offend him/her.

(3) Simplify your emotions
It doesn't matter what your partner does, if you just learn to simplify your emotions, you will enjoy marriage life and wipe-out stress completely. Don't allow confusing feelings that just want to make you wild at heart.... Okay, there is no denial that some situations can be extraordinary tough, but what do you think makes them that huge? ... It's all in the mind, you take it big, it appears overwhelming. And on the other hand, you take a situation lightly, it will appear manageable.     

Friday

Married to an Arrogant Spouse? Here's The Perfect way to Cope with that kind of Stress

Coping with arrogance in marriage

Arrogance is a serous issue in any relationship and can become more irritating when it emanates from either of the couples in the marriage set-up. Its potential to cripple a relationship can be likened to cancer, as it is a disease that eats the emotional fabrics of marriage. The affected partner is exposed to stings that go directly to the heart which in return gives birth to stress. However, with below tips you can cope with the situation and raise the level of happiness in your house.

Let's first analyze the origin of arrogance

What do you think led your spouse to develop suchlike a character? This kind of question can help you learn allot, and you may end even feeling sorry when you realize its a problem he/she can't control. In most cases arrogance is a protective adaptation. To people with low self-confidence they'll use arrogance to catch their spouse's attention. Whereby unknowingly the receiving partner may end-up feeling sad or stressed and this could transpire to real trouble in such a marriage.

What the ailing spouse fails to understand is, the arrogant partner needs help. They don't do that without a reason, it could be an adopted life style to secure emotional safety. OR, a response from your behavior as in, you trigger the habit. For example if a wife realizes that the hubby is less caring, and slow to necessary actions, she may unknowingly become confronting, controlling and arrogant due to stress. It's a sign of fear exhibited in that form.   

In other cases the arrogance you see in your marriage could be a sign of revenge. May be you've been hard or stressing your fiancee, and he/she wanted explanation but you never paid attention. Could be they are disciplining or trying to pass the message, though in a hard way. Yes, the problem could be that simple! Research has proved that what causes stresses in marriage are often very simple and manageable issues.

With that said, so how can you personally deal or even eradicate the stress brought by arrogance  from your marriage? It simple, just put the below new knowledge into action and flavor it with commitment to achieve your liberty in the situation;

#1. Self-awareness
This is a critical foundation for enhancing emotional maturity in relationship. Understand who you are, and your role in that marriage. Measure your level of maturity and also that of your partner to see the places that need amendments. As said earlier, arrogance is often associated to what your partner feels about you, a situation, or even a third party. So, could you be contributing in any way, that's to say check on your actions, attitude and the treatment you offer.  Correct where necessary and explain what you can't handle.

#2. Improve on Listening skills
Do you give enough attention to you partner by constructive listening. That means, allowing your fiances to talk while you keenly give an ear until he/she is satisfied. When giving counseling advice to couples who lack this skill, the problem often comes out clearer. You notice how impatient they become to one other, and this is often a cause of stress in such a marriage. Create a habit of listening even when your partner is saying nonsense, this allows mindfulness and one can become cautious when he/she realizes someone is keen on every word. 

#3. Open-up
It's more dangerous to keep the pain, you better open up and tell your fiance that you no longer enjoy the arrogance exhibited in that marriage. Explain how it's making you stressful and don't mind about the reaction, just stick to what you mean with respect. At fast you may get some poor response, but show what you meant with calmness and simplicity. Don't shout at first, just talk it out with confidence and determination while avoiding any form of argument that may birth an arrogant attitude. A calm but firm voice will make your partner to consider being mature before answering. The stress you see in your marriage is just there for you to work it out!