The 3 Top Secretes you Must know About your Friends, Spouse, Relative...

It's not recommendable for one to live without friends, they are a necessity that you can't overlook. In fact even the people who pride in having no friends in their life do lie because it is impossible. The fact is, there is always a person to relate to whether it's parents, spouse, relatives, workmates schoolmates and so on. All these should be in your list of friends.

These are important people in your personal life but there are some facts that you must learn to accept so as to ever remain at peace with them. The tips below will help you better understand human psychology in regard to friendships and relationships;

#1.They must talk
Despite the fact that someone is a dearest friend to you, always know that they can speak against you. Yes, that's the nature of mankind, but that doesn't mean that they are not genuine to the friendship/relation! No. It simply means, since people have mouths they must talk (backbite). Never end a friendship simply because someone backbite you. See, even your own mother can backbite you, and that doesn't change her status as a mother!

#2.They Have their own life.
We are sometimes tempted to think that since someone claims to be dear to us, they are obligated to live and do exactly as how we want. We even go to extends of feeling offended when we see them making decision that are against our wish.

For instance you might want a fried to loose weigh just because you dislike a bulky body, only to realize that they even don't bother about. Note: everybody has their life and this should not interfere with your friendship. You can only advise him or her but can never choose the kind of life they want to live.

#3. They are not responsible for our happiness
This is another very important point to note. In fact when I personally came to understand this, I received great relief in my life. See, we often think that since someone is a dear friend, they are responsible to make us as happy as possible every-time they are around.

Whether it's a spouse, mother, father workmate or anybody closer to you, always note that the level of your happiness is determined by you personally and not a friend. See happiness comes from within, it about deciding to be happy even when situations don't allow... Okay?. BIG TIME, as you decided to keep your value adding friends


How to Deal with Negative Minded People without being Negative

Life around negative minded people can be extremely challenging and more so when you don't know how to deal with them. The common traits of a negative minded individual include; ever feeling bored, always seeing impossibilities, easily controlled by situations, selfishness and overlay controlling.

Oops, hope you are not negative minded yourself, but if you find the above traits in your set of behaviors- then this is an opportunity for you to correct where necessary. However if not the following ideas can help out if you leave with individuals. One thing that is irresistible is the fact that we can't completely avoid these so called negative minded folks because they are our relatives, spouse, friends workmates or even neighbours.

The first and most important principle is to understand that these people have "behavioral problems". They are somewhat bound into seeing the negative side of life. Hence no matter what you do, it's a waste of time to try and expect any complement from them.

Another important aspect to note while around such folks is that they are used to being negative. Hence this is part of their lives, so, always accept what come out and put it aside. Don't spent your time waiting for them to change, cause they won't. Live your life and do what you must do. Don't allow the negative feeling control you cause you are not the actual problem. Do what you must do but never allow negative minded people to guide you cause they'll never show you anything good. 


Don't Allow your Trust for People Steal your Inner Peace...

inner peace

We all know that there is nobody in this world who is worthy of 100percent trust, yet we sometime find ourselves wanting to trust people for even beyond 1000perncent. This is being unreasonable, and when such a kind of trust backfires, it result to total hatred, pain, disbelieve and even suicidal thoughts. Okay trusting a your marriage partner, friend, father, mother, relative and children is okay but ....

Let's analyse the "but"and see the exact way for measuring the level of trust we ought to offer. Let's open our minds to the truth, which is;

#1. Love yourself fast
Whenever you wanna trust someone, ensure that there is that level of healthy self-love. Don't just give out the whole of your trust to people without considering a "but" in your mind. Or simply; love BUT always be sure that the person you trust can betray you. See, there is nothing you can do about it as nobody is really 100percent dependable. Only GOD! This fact is not meant to destroy your morals but to affirm them. Simply be mature and understand humans rather than being negative.  

#2. Accept the fact that nobody is a supreme being.
Often we think that the people we so much trust are perfect and supreme. We forget that they also "should mistake". By accepting that, you simply understand their sole duty is not to always impress you. They have their own agendas, likes and dislikes in life and so that can pull then to misbehave. Just be humble and understand that there are things we can't change ourselves.

#3. Be trustworthy but keep it to yourself.
There is this trap that sometimes tend to have extreme power to mislead us. See, when you don't want to offend someone or when you decide to remain trustworthy to people. You may find them failing or betraying you and this can make you change your mind in a bid to revenge. Okay, there is that feeling of satisfaction after revenge BUT there is also another thing you can't overlook. That is the product of revenge. The necked truth about revenge is that it'll hurt you in the long run even more. So why not be a gentleman/lady enough and know your trustworthiness is for the wellness of your heart, mind and soul! 

Simply remain peaceful and calm from within. Joy is an internal thing and there no need to allow the environment to control what's going on in your heart. The truth is that you may not attain this at once but keep on reminding yourself, and taking the necessary actions when need be. The power to remain calm and peaceful is right within your choices so choose wisely. Okay? ...Big time.


Want a perfectly happy marriage? Then you Must Give-Up on These 8 Things

give and be happy

1.Give up the past
The past is a gone story and you out to let it go. We so often don't accept to allow the bygone to remain bygones, and this makes us reprimand ourself and our partners for the mistakes they did. Having the past dominate is completely unfair to a marriage relationship. See, you ought to accept the fact that you cannot change what have happened already. Whether there exist an illegitimate child, or abortion story somewhere, all these are bygones and if left to control a marriage relationship, there can never be piece.

Give up the past and accept the fact that your partner is human hence destined to mistakes and wrong doings. It's not your work to really spend a life time trying to figure out what should have been done, and how things out have gone. NO... Concentrate on the present and work on it. If there was a misunderstanding yesterday in the marriage, there no need to bring it to today. Look on better thing to lay your hands on and give up on the past!

2.Give up excuses
You'll have to surrender the need to give excuses. This means choosing to always forgive your partner whether or not they ask for forgiveness, choosing to do what you must do keep the relationship, choosing to accept that your partner is human and so able to do anything when pressured beyond limit.

3.Give up unreasonable fears
We all have fears in this life, however some types of fears are unreasonable and can bring strain in marriage. One example of constructive fear include; fear of losing a loved one- this makes you value your spouse. Now the unconstructive types of fear that you must give up include; fear of saying sorry (thinking it under-rates you) fear of saying the truth, and the likes. So in simple terms, give up on every fear that has no value in the marriage.

4.Give up resistance to change
If your partner has pointed out a need for you to change in any area, do it at once. See, resisting change only makes you appear unreasonably rebellious. Try to see the sense in it and accept to go with the positive course. If there is a need to change from a behavior that's slowly crippling the relationship, do it. Don't wait to regrete, life has no rehearsal. This is the only life you have to live a happy life.

5.Give up the need to impress others
When the need to impress anybody outside a marriage strikes, then it's like a cancer that guarantees to kill the relationship. So please watchout! See, you can impress others but in the long run ruin your marriage life. For instance you might want to attend a party against your partners will, or to a friend's wedding etc. Before following that need first ask yourself if it'll be accepted by him/her. And if not, don't go! It's better to keep your marriage than impress people at the expense of your own life.

6.Give up the pleasure of criticism
Oops I've just pressed a button! Oh yes... You are not alone here. I also recovered recently from this "mind-disorder". The pleasure of criticism makes you some kind of watchman, a bad designation? Isn't it. It makes you criticize every little behavior, mistake, dress-code, and weakness on your partner. Which is not right. Instead, you should be encouraging and cheering your partner. See, what comes from your mouth holds direct influence on the level of happiness in that marriage.

7.Give up the need to control everything*
This is among the most dangerous form of egoistic need. It makes you want to control everything in marriage. From how your partner talks, behaves, answers a phone call, eats, relates and even thinks. Surely this is tiring and makes the marriage strained. In fact it makes you a master while your spouse becomes a slave. You have to accept that he/she is a human with a brain and give up on the need to control everything they do. Let someone use his or her brain and enjoy the fact that you're not married to a robot.  

8.Give up the need to always be right
This is a burning need and it's good that you drop it. It adds no value to marriage but instead it deprives it. The need to always be right can steal your partners confidence, or even make him or her always appear confused. See, when you're alway right, it means your partner must do what you want if there is to be any form of happiness in the marriage.

This is a white lie, you can't always be right so give up the need! You don't have to be right so keep up your confidence even when you do a mistake. This need to always be right can breed a life of fear and guilt in your relationship. Just accept that both of you are destined to do mistakes and the only way out is to always be ready to forgive each other.


Are You Really Wise in that Marriage Life? Here's the 5 Point Truth Meter

wisdom in marriage

Have you ever wondered why some couples seem happier in their marriages despite the fact that marriage life is generally full of hardships, strive and strain? Do you ever ask yourself what makes your marriage not as satisfactory as you want it to be? Or in simpler terms, do you consider yourself to be wise in your relationship with your partner?

See, the stories you here allover the media about "love turned sower", bride kills husband during 8th day of their honeymoon", "husband kills wife or the opposite", or even "pastor compromising his integrity", all these a just a mare reflection of what's going on in today's marriages. Otherwise, there is a bigger problem with relationships and especially marriage life. Okay, let's come to you and me. Whether man or woman, educated or not, you MUST yearn to be WISE if you are to ever enjoy marriage.

Viola! Here, is how to exactly evaluate your marriage life and whether you are playing wise:

#5. WORDS.
Aha! Can you remember your first days when you begun seeing your partner? And, can you try to recall your use of words? Off-course you'll notice a big difference and the thing is, both of you were wise in words usage in those early days. So what happened, why the harshness while talking to your partner.

And in fact if you are keen you'll notice that you go to extends of abusing the once adorable partner. See, marriage life is about growth. The the big question is, have you grown positively on your words usage? Do still call him/her darling, sweetie, dear, sugar or tomato source! If not, you are heading to hell, so please reconsider your ways.

See, being wise simply means handling things the proper way, or dealing with your partner in a smart way so as not to hurt them, offend, or make them feel lonely. To rewind a bit of your life, you can approve that there was a lot of touching, caressing, and hugging during the onset of the marriage life.

This is an automatic form of wisdom given by nature (law of attraction in relationships) , but now the problem is, you never grew it further. If you want to remain wise in your marriage life, you must remain relevant to satisfying the "touch-need" on your partner. 

Do you give words of affirmations to your partner anymore? Okay you think that words of affirmation are no longer important? ... You are dead! ...Oh my am sorry, wanted to tell you that your partner might get that from somewhere illegitimate. I don't mean to be rude by that, all what is there is for you to open your wisdom eyes.

If you want your marriage life to work out then be smart, do what you must do. Tell your partner how beautiful or handsome they are. In fact, import some flattery works and use them as many time as possible in your marriage. Feel and encourage your partner and he/she will consider you important in their well being. 

This has turned out to be history in marriages"hope not in yours". If you want to know the level of your wisdom, just look at how intimate your relationship is. Oops sorry for being brutally honest, but am helping you! The simple fact is: you managed to be intimate in the fast place or at the beginning of your relationship, ...why not now?. Wake up and do the thing! Keep the fare of love burning and stop complaining.

So fur you ought to have known the different unchangeable facts about marriage life and your partner. Okay, lets shade some light. Marriage fact #1-- you must know that life is short and the only safe way to enjoy it, is in your marriage. #2. It's your responsibility to always satisfy your partner. #3. You have to make things happen if they are to happen.#4. Love is contagious so you must love your partner to get it back. Be wise!