Friday

Finally: Write more Articles and Overcome Procrastination, this is How

Procrastination is the greatest enemy of writers. In fact almost every writer madly fights this enemy, needless to say it's a non-healable "disease". As a writer, not once or twice have I fall into procrastination... It's countless times. And this led to enormous time-gaps between which I posted new articles on the various blog-sites I own.

Procrastination comes in different ways, sometimes; like fear of failure, fear of poor grammar or even fear of losing your credibility on a topic you are not sure of. In other occasions it may come in a form of always wanting to postpone writing, .

You can have some cool article-titles but a sort of fear just emanates from no where and you begin to worry about where to get a big audience. Or again, you can begin to think that the subject may not be that interesting to folks. All these are writer's blocks we need to overcome.

I have been there and still fall into it sometimes but this one-simple-but-effective-trick has helped me write more articles. My Secrete is; WRITER TO HELP ONLY ONE READER. It's trues my articles have been read by tens of thousands, but for the sake of productivity, I assume that am writing for one reader.

Again, I always believe my reader is waiting for fresher content so I feel obliged to meet this expectation. See, when you do anything for the sake of helping someone the consistency of the act becomes automatic every-time you remember it.

In fact, when it comes to realistic thinking, a writer's productivity should be consistent, this is because we simply writer for our audiences' benefit. It's an obligation you ought to meet so don't let your mind enjoy the comfort of procrastination for long. Simply create some sort of "pressure" in yourself to meet your readers appetite for fresher, high quality and important content.

Wednesday

Why You Can be Happier Now

I thought by having a better job, caring wife, better government, or more friends, I'll be happier, but I've confirmed that's not true. Okay it's not wrong to have all these. In fact they are important but they really don't amount to the true happiness in life. I've of late discovered that possessions don't really dictate the amount of happiness in someones life.

You know the wishes we all have ... Huh? I remember wishing to clear-up primary school hoping secondary school life will be great or better. I was wrong, again the high school thing begun to suck, I became tired and wished for time to rash so as to pave way for me to join college and be "happier", but lol...! Even after joining college I was yawning for a better job hoping it will sort my sorrows...

The trend went on and on... One more thing, one more step, more money and so on thinking I'll get happier. It was until I learned to watch my urges and wishes against the reality of life.

So you are not alone in wanting to have everything hoping for more joy, it's a common lie in everybody's mind, but you can compact it. This is how I traced my contentment and I think it'll as well work for you;

#1.Accept the reality of life
All of us fall into the trap of living in some "sort of fantasy" we think it's a MUST to have something extra on top of what we already have so as to enjoy life more. That's not the reality... It just but a common lie. It happens to everybody and at all levels, including those whom you think they have it all.

Once you come to this reality, you automatically overcome the urges. Okay the desires to have more will always pop-up but don't let them overpower you, simply watch them as they subside over-time. 
 
#2.What you don't have could be a burden if you had it
Besides feeling the satisfaction after having what you've craved for a long time, that thing can as well become a burden again. In fact anything that we get yet it was not designed for us, simply becomes a burden.

For instance you may so much want to have two or more lovers... Okay, the truth is, nobody was designed for such -but almost everybody would want that. "Just quoting". The truth is, two lovers are simply a burden to you because you were not designed for that.

...You don't really need to have everything that is advertised on TV to feel happier, in fact having much only increases stress. Teach your heart to understand this, and also learn to rejoice on what you already have because that's what you require for now.

Saturday

How People-Pleasing Habit Breeds Rejection

Rejection is one of the most devastating situation that one can go through in life, it is painful, derailing, horrible and in fact hinders everything that pertains self development. However its has been proved that the attitude of people-pleasing ranks among the top causes of rejection.

How true is this?
Simple...Rejection is a great enemy of the emotions and self-value. It's not really about the physical act. It's about what you expected to be done to you, and when the opposite comes, that when you feel rejected. You do whatever possible hopping to please someone so that they accept and appreciate you, but you get the opposite. 

In simple terms; there is that hidden urge to please people, and it also has its own expectations. Seeking peoples approval on who you are and what you should be only breeds rejection at the end. People pleasing is like a language that only you understands, but hopping everybody should also understand and give you the benefits of approval or acceptance.

The painful truth about the origin of this people-pleasing-urge...

It all began when you were a small child, when they told you that if you don't behave in a certain way daddy will be mad, or mommy will not be happy. Sad, isn't it? -There are better ways to help kids growth socially-healthy other than conditioning them to be people-pleasers.

A rational way to help kids mature socially is advising them based on facts. For instance tell them, "behave well and you'll not get into trouble". See, the subject truth is, bad behavior will lead to painful consequences but not to a mad daddy, or unhappy mommy. This makes a child not to feel rejected by either mom, or dad. Since the subject matter is no-longer mommy or daddy but a consequence after bad behavior.

Don't personalize how people should feel while around you...

The urge to make people happy while around you will always pop-up but don't own it. Simply embrace the fact that you don't need to please everybody to feel secure. The plain truth is, people will always take you lightly or even show signs of rejection when they realize your efforts of being fake just to please them.

Be yourself! And learn to be that while around everybody. See, respect is earned, and it's you to earn it by teaching people your originalism and not how fake you can be just to be liked.

There is nobody behind pushing you to be a pleaser of people. The decision lies right with you. Be mature, polite and mean what you want in life. Stop sending people-pleaser signals, just learn to be your self, learn to say no and to say yes when need be. The idea is, enjoy being yourself-period. Respect, likes and other things will follow although they are not really necessary.  

Breaking The Curse of People-pleasing

The habit of people pleasing may be worse than a curse. It makes a person vulnerable to all kinds of mistreat, traps and misuse. However the truth of the matter is, this habit is one of the easiest to break from. It only requires some decision-making and determination as stipulated here;

#1. Cultivate self-awareness
 
Go back to the roots and analyze the source of this habit. You may be among the people who picked  the people-pleasing habit from childhood as a result of being neglected while you were still young, or maybe you were forced by circumstances in life. Check up what really molded this character in you, and start figuring how you can destroy it.

You can also move a step further by acknowledging the hot-spots where the crave to please people raises at. For instance, it may be around certain people that you want complements from, such as  your spouse, kids, strangers or even worse; your enemies. Be aware of the "people-pleaser-urge-pattern" and where it usually pops from. 

Simply ask yourself what you've gained all along while trying to please those people, and off-course you'll find out, non. In fact the truth is, you'll find a great minus on your character, personality or even material gain in all your people pleasing business. It doesn't earn you anything, but strips your respect off.

#2. Break that strong urge to make everybody around happy

This point can help accelerate your efforts to freedom. Simple; -everytime you "SEE" people, prepare in advance by noting it's not your obligation to make them happy. Everybody has their own life, and it's not your need to tickle them and make them laugh. The world will not fall apart if you just be yourself. And in fact that strong urge to please them is a  highway to feeling rejected soon after you satisfy it.
 
#3. Learn to be yourself

You are a human with decisions and choices to make, and it's important to consider that. It's YOU WHO DECIDES TO BE YOU, don't allow people to decide what they think you should be. Okay, you don't have to be rude, simply know what you want in life and mean it politely. Learn to say no with simplicity, politeness and firmness.

You don't have to give excuses while in the real sense you don't want something, simply say; "no please".  Whether someone feels good or bad,- it's their choice and they should eat of the consequence of their feeling. Sorry, I don't mean you should be rude, but that's how things are - they'll soon catch up with your new character and even like you for your stands.   

Off-course there also will be consequences  on your side: just as there will be even worse consequences to saying yes to everything! A people pleasing attitude only see the first part and forgets the trauma of saying "yes, yes" even to the things you dislike. Simply learn to be yourself, and people will respect you without CHOICE.

#4. Stop the worry of what people might say
 
Everybody has their own brains and they choose what to do with it. One thing is sure, whether they decide to esteem you or reject you entirely depends with you and not them. Aha! Yeap, this is the brutal truth. Respect yourself and they'll have no choice but to respect you. See, in life you are the teacher to teach us about you, not a people-pleaser. So teach people how to treat you and not the vise verser. You are the one who knows the staff you are made of- so, stop depending on people complements for motivation.

Wednesday

Overcome Workplace Rejection Painlessly

I was surprised after realizing that often, rejection is a self inflicted problem. It's commonly an internal problem since it is highly depended on the way we react  once we  face it. In this article I share my real life experience as well show how you can effortlessly overcome rejection completely, whether at the workplace, in the family or anywhere.

Things were not easy with me when I joined a certain construction company to work there. Soon after my workmates realized my potentials, talents and status in life, rejection got its fare share on me. The happiness to share my vision, achievements and all that I was  unknowingly made me a target  for rejection.

Nevertheless, after years of suffering and self realization, I was able to work on my character as it was the key cause of rejection on my life. This could as well be what's causing you to undergo the same.

Below  are the strongest tips that helped me out! 

#1.I learned to listen to myself

It's very important to note that at the workplace not everybody will like your face leave alone what you say. The only door that leads directly to your heat is your mouth, and speaking your heart at the workplace can land you into problems. I used to share my dreams visions, and aspirations only to receive instant rejections from the envious lot.

In fact  anything good about you can be an avenue of rejection. If you are stronger, beautiful, wise, in fact if you appear any better to some people they'll reject  you because of their insecurities. So, better leave your in life with wisdom. Simply gauge what to share and what to keep for yourself. 

#2. I stopped the people-pleasing habit

If you want people to respect you stop trying to please them and be original.  Almost all humans have this principle in common, they'll always like and follow what they don't have. So if you give them more of yourself they'll despise you. In simple terms: DONT GIVE THEM THE WHOLE OF YOU, LET THEM DO THE WORK. Yes, you are beautiful stronger, more educated,ambitions and e.t.c but live your life. Stop trying to show all these to acquire likes.

When people realize you are better than them and at the same time trying to please them, the first response is they'll belittle you and you'll feel rejected . See, don't be apologetic to your beauty, wisdom, height, body-shape, or anything given by nature. These are just status and don't try to sympathies with people who do all they can to pin you down based on such.

#3. Clothing mode

Its necessary to watch over your dressing mode at the workplace. Many people suffer rejection jus because of this. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking people will like us more based on what we wear. Can be true, but for how long! In fact some decent dressers suffer rejection as well. What you wear should be to boost your own thinking and confidence, not what others want to think about you. In fact when they realize you are confident of what you wear they'll have no choice but to love you.